Unraveling the Perfect Woman: Society's Lies vs. God's Truth
What Does It Mean to Be a Good Woman?
What does it mean to be a Good Woman? What about a Woman of God? Are they the same thing?
Well, that depends on who you ask.
In the United States, the “perfect” woman is a woman who is physically
attractive, but naturally so.
- She
has to be fit, but not too fit, or she’ll look like a man.
- She
has to look feminine, but if she wears makeup, she’s trying to
impress somebody.
- She
has to age gracefully, but not too gracefully, or they’ll say she’s
letting herself go.
- She
must have a thriving and meaningful career, but she can’t
contribute too much to the household, or her husband will be looked down
on.
- She
must be comfortable in her own skin and be happy being by herself,
but if she stays single too long, they’ll say she cared too much about
living her best life and now she’s “too old” to find a husband. She did it
to herself.
- She
must be self-sufficient and independent, but not overly so, or
they’ll say she hates men.
- She
must build up her husband and be his peace, but if she talks to him
before making any decisions, people will say he’s controlling, and she
needs permission for everything. Blink twice if you need help.
- She
must be a Pinterest-perfect mother, but she can’t talk about her
kids too much, or people will say they’re her whole personality. What will
she do when they grow up?
- She
must be emotionally strong, stable, and confident, but not too cold
or callous.
- She
must be empathetic and lead with love and kindness, but not feel
anything too deeply, or they’ll assume it’s that time of the month.
It’s a giant contradiction. It’s unattainable.
It sets women up for failure.
But Please Rest Assured...
Even though society continually moves the “goalpost”
for what women must do to be considered “desirable,” God never does.
Mary Magdalene: A Woman of Faith
Was she a prostitute? A sinful woman who represents
how low God is willing to go to lift you up?
Not quite. The Bible doesn’t really talk about Mary
Magdalene’s past, except for this:
Luke 8:1-2 (NIV):
"After this, Jesus traveled about from one town and village to another, proclaiming the good news of the kingdom of God. The Twelve were with him, and also some women who had been cured of evil spirits and diseases: Mary (called Magdalene) from whom seven demons had come out;"So where do these assumptions come from? It’s pretty simple.
The world loves to judge us. Not just women, but all of us. There’s
always someone ready to tell you you're doing everything wrong or that
something about you is inherently flawed.
The world sets us up to fail and takes pleasure in
our struggles—it profits from it.
John 15:18-19 (NIV):
"If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you."So don’t let the world’s opinion of Mary Magdalene
bother you. Instead, focus on the honors God bestowed upon her.
The First to See Jesus After His Resurrection
John 20:1-2, 11-18 (NIV):
"Now on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb. Then she ran and came to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved, and said to them, 'They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.'But Mary stood outside by the tomb, weeping, and as she wept, she stooped down and looked into the tomb. And she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and the other at the feet, where the body of Jesus had lain.
Then they said to her, 'Woman, why are you weeping?'
She said to them, 'Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.'
Now when she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus.
Jesus said to her, 'Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?'
She, supposing Him to be the gardener, said to Him, 'Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away.'
Jesus said to her, 'Mary!'
She turned and said to Him, 'Rabboni!' (which is to say, Teacher).
Jesus said to her, 'Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet ascended to My Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, 'I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God.'
Mary Magdalene came and told the disciples that she had seen the Lord, and that He had spoken these things to her."
Can you imagine? Not only was Mary a devoted disciple
during Jesus' life, but she was also the one He revealed Himself to
FIRST after His resurrection. Jesus called her by name. How worthy
and precious must she have been to receive such an honor?
A Woman of Faith, a Woman of God
By the way, the Bible never mentions a husband for
Mary, so it's safe to assume she was likely single. Why does that
matter? God is reminding us through Mary that, while He created Eve to
be Adam’s helper and makes women to serve their families and husbands, His FIRST
purpose for you is to serve HIM!
You are whole, meaningful, beautiful, and worthy—even if the
only man by your side is HIM. He will use and love you exactly as you are
right now.
Society's Lies vs. God's Truth
Some of you may be rolling your eyes right now. “I know God
loves me as I am right now, but I WANT to be better, I want to be a great wife
and mother, the clock is ticking, my children are growing up, my husband is
here now, they need me at my best NOW” or maybe you’ve yet to find your husband
and you’re thinking “I want to be married, I want a husband, I want children.”
And you know what? Both are perfectly valid ways to feel. I
have been with my husband for nearly twelve years now, and we have three
beautiful children. My family is my greatest blessing, and I get so much
joy from loving and serving them.
But I must never forget, they are NOT my savior. They
are NOT my salvation. They are not God and I cannot worship them or
idolize them as if I was only created to serve them.
First and foremost, we were created to serve the Lord.
My family is certainly an amazing part of the plan God has for me, but they are
not THE plan. God demands that we seek Him first and love Him
first, because His plans for us are unknown to us, and the only way we can
fulfill His plan is to seek after Him with all our heart.
What Happens When We Wait on God
So women, when the world tells you you’re not good enough
unless you’re making 6 figures a year and being the perfect mother and wife,
they’re lying.
When the world tells women who have yet to find their
husbands that they’re not worthy where they’re at right now, that their
life isn’t successful because they’re alone, they’re lying.
When the world tells you that you’re not good enough
and that no one will ever love you, they’re lying.
God's Promises for You
Jeremiah 29:8-13 NIV
“Yes, this is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel,
says: “Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not
listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. They are prophesying lies to
you in my name. I have not sent them,” declares the Lord . This is what the
Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you
and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the
plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “plans to prosper you and not to
harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and
come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me
when you seek me with all your heart.”
God loves you RIGHT NOW. God loves you in the brokenness.
God loves you in the mess. Not only does He love you, but He has prosperous
plans for you that He has yet to fulfill.
Trusting Beyond the Now
As a society we’ve come to expect things to be given to us
quickly, and if it isn’t quick, it’s wrong. We want clarity right now. Why can’t
God show us what he’s working on now?
I’m hurting now!
I need help now!
Haven’t I done enough? Haven’t I suffered enough trials and
tribulations? Why do I still have to endure this and still have to worry about
if tomorrow is going to bring what I need TODAY?
Matthew 6:30-34 NIV
“If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is
here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe
you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What
shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these
things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his
kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as
well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about
itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
The Story of Ruth: Rewarded for Faithfulness
Ruth is a beautiful example of the rewards God will
give you if you wait on Him and seek Him above all things.
Ruth 1:2-5 NIV
"The man's name was Elimelek, his wife’s name was
Naomi, and the names of his two sons were Mahlon and Kilion. They were
Ephrathites from Bethlehem, Judah. And they went to Moab and lived there.
Now Elimelek, Naomi’s husband, died, and she was left with
her two sons. They married Moabite women, one named Orpah and the other Ruth.
After they had lived there about ten years, both Mahlon and Kilion also died,
and Naomi was left without her two sons and her husband."
But when Naomi urged her daughters-in-law to leave
her, Ruth chose to stay and be loyal to Naomi despite her own grief.
Ruth 1:6-17 NIV
"Then she arose with her daughters-in-law that she
might return from the country of Moab, for she had heard in the country of Moab
that the Lord had visited His people by giving them bread.
Therefore she went out from the place where she was, and
her two daughters-in-law with her; and they went on the way to return to the
land of Judah.
And Naomi said to her two daughters-in-law, 'Go, return
each to her mother’s house. The Lord deal kindly with you, as you have dealt
with the dead and with me. The Lord grant that you may find rest, each in the
house of her husband.'
So she kissed them, and they lifted up their voices and
wept.
And they said to her, 'Surely we will return with you to
your people.'
But Naomi said, 'Turn back, my daughters; why will you go
with me? Are there still sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands? Turn
back, my daughters, go—for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I
have hope, if I should have a husband tonight and should also bear sons, would
you wait for them till they were grown? Would you restrain yourselves from
having husbands? No, my daughters; for it grieves me very much for your sakes
that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me!'
Then they lifted up their voices and wept again; and
Orpah kissed her mother-in-law, but Ruth clung to her.
And she said, 'Look, your sister-in-law has gone back to
her people and to her gods; return after your sister-in-law.'
But Ruth said:
'Entreat me not to leave you,
Or to turn back from following after you;
For wherever you go, I will go;
And wherever you lodge, I will lodge;
Your people shall be my people,
And your God, my God.
Where you die, I will die,
And there will I be buried.
The Lord do so to me, and more also,
If anything but death parts you and me.' "
Can you imagine the weight of Ruth's burden? She was
grieving deeply, yet she faced the responsibility of caring for her elderly
mother-in-law, Naomi, who had no one else to turn to. Ruth could have walked
away. Naomi even offered her an out—one that no one would have judged her for
taking. But Ruth chose to stay. She declared her love and loyalty, saying,
“Where you die, I will die, and there will I be buried.” This wasn't out of
mere obligation—it was an act of love, rooted in genuine kindness. Ruth was
committed to caring for Naomi despite her own pain. That takes faith. To
experience such profound loss and still seek God with all your heart is
inspiring. It’s beautiful.
In this season of grief, Ruth embodies the qualities of a
Proverbs 31 woman.
Proverbs 31:10-31
A wife of noble character who can find?She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
'Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.'
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
A Proverbs 31 woman is:
• Trustworthy
• Resourceful
• Generous
• Respectable
• Wise
• Kind
• A Diligent Worker
• A Caring Provider
A Proverbs 31 woman is someone who, above all else, fears
God and trusts Him with all her heart. No matter where you are in
life—whether married with little children running everywhere driving you nuts,
widowed and burdened, or single and thrown away by the world—you can still be a
Proverbs 31 woman. While the world keeps shifting its standards, the word of
God remains unchanged. Ruth's steadfast love for God during her trials
was rewarded.
God rewards the faithful.
Ruth 2:10-12
"At this, she bowed down with her face to the ground. She asked him, 'Why have I found such favor in your eyes that you notice me—a foreigner?'Boaz replied, 'I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before. May the Lord repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge.'”
Ruth 4:13-17
“So Boaz took Ruth and she became his wife. When he made love to her, the Lord enabled her to conceive, and she gave birth to a son.The women said to Naomi: ‘Praise be to the Lord, who this day has not left you without a guardian-redeemer. May he become famous throughout Israel! He will renew your life and sustain you in your old age. For your daughter-in-law, who loves you and who is better to you than seven sons, has given him birth.’
Then Naomi took the child in her arms and cared for him. The women living there said, ‘Naomi has a son!’ And they named him Obed. He was the father of Jesse, the father of David.”
Ruth was burdened and felt forgotten by the
Lord, yet she trusted in Him with all her heart. Ruth sought after God
in everything she did. She rejoiced and found peace in God’s perfect
timing, ultimately living a fulfilled life and becoming the grandmother of King
David, a pivotal figure in God's plan.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 NIV
“There is a time for everything,and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil?
I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.
He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has also set eternity in the human heart;
yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.
That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.
I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it.
God does it so that people will fear him.”
Whatever burden you’re carrying right now, whatever it is
that the world is saying about you, or the story you’re telling yourself, know
this: you are exactly where God wants you to be, as long as you are seeking
after Him with all your heart.
You may be feeling like you’re not measuring up—
Maybe you're frustrated for not being the perfect mom.
Maybe you're failing daily at being the woman you want to be.
Maybe you're looking at your life and thinking, “How did I get here? This
isn’t what I planned. This isn’t what my life was supposed to be.”
Have peace and trust that God’s plan is greater than
your own. If you are seeking Him with all your heart, then you are precisely
where He wants you to be.
Philippians 4:10-13 NIV
"I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you
renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no
opportunity to show it.
I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have
learned to be content whatever the circumstances.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to
have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every
situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.
I can do all this through Him who gives me strength."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-24 NIV
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all
circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench
the Spirit. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to
what is good, reject every kind of evil. May God himself, the God of peace,
sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept
blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is
faithful, and he will do it. “
You Are Enough.
Sister, I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but stop
believing the lies the world is telling you about being enough. Jesus knows
there are many days I need to hear the same thing. God has never abandoned
us. He sees us. He loves us. We are enough.
If you want to know how to be a Proverbs 31 Woman,
start by looking to Jesus and aligning your heart with His.
The rest will fall into place.
So, what does it mean to be a ‘good woman’ or a ‘woman of
God’? It’s easy to get caught in the world’s impossible standards, but here’s
the truth: God’s love for you isn’t based on your ability to ‘measure up’ to
society’s ever-changing definitions. He loves you right where you are.
Like Mary Magdalene and Ruth, you are seen, valued, and chosen by God—just as
you are.
I want to hear from you! How have you felt the
tension between society’s expectations and God’s calling on your life? How can
we, as women of faith, encourage one another to embrace who we are in Christ
and leave behind the world’s flawed version of ‘perfection’? Share your thoughts
below, and let’s dive deeper into this conversation together. ❤️
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