Fear is Loud, but God is Louder!

 I Am an Absolute Mess (And That’s Okay)

I was deeply touched by some of the comments from those close to me after my last post.

It brings me so much joy to see people turning their hearts toward the Lord, remembering that Jesus is the foundation we should be building our lives upon.

As I reflected on all the kind and encouraging words, I realized something—my last post may have left some of you with the impression that, by some miracle of God, I am constantly rejoicing in struggle, never stressed, never worried, and completely immune to anxiety.

Please allow me to reassure you: I am an absolute mess! Lol.

I don’t say that to put myself down but to make sure all the glory goes exactly where it belongs—to the Lord.

I firmly believe that no matter what kind of “curtain” we might drape over ourselves—whether it’s a degree, money, designer clothes, personal achievements, or even a carefully crafted image—we are all a mess.

And before you start to mentally defend yourself, convincing yourself that you actually do have it all together, let me tell you a story about Jesus.

Even Jesus Struggled

Jesus is absolute perfection—the Son of the Father, the Lord made flesh.

There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything more perfect that has walked this earth.

And yet, in the scripture I’m about to share, even Jesus struggled.

On the night before His arrest, as He faced the horrific suffering that had been prophesied, He was deeply troubled.

Mark 14:32-42 (NIV)

"Then they came to a place which was named Gethsemane; and He said to His disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” And He took Peter, James, and John with Him, and He began to be troubled and deeply distressed. Then He said to them, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death. Stay here and watch.”

"He went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. And He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.”

"Then He came and found them sleeping, and said to Peter, “Simon, are you sleeping? Could you not watch one hour? Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

"Again He went away and prayed, and spoke the same words. And when He returned, He found them asleep again, for their eyes were heavy; and they did not know what to answer Him.

"Then He came the third time and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? It is enough! The hour has come; behold, the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand.”

The Flesh Is Weak

Now, let me be clear—I am not comparing us to the Lord.

Speaking for myself, it takes far less than the weight of my imminent death and sacrifice to have me struggling, running to the Lord in anxiety, worry, and fear.

But this passage reminds us of something undeniable:

The flesh is weak.

No matter how we dress it up, no matter what achievements we hide behind, we are weak.

When I first sat down to study the Word for this post, I was planning to write about how I find the faith and strength to surrender my problems to God.

But as I dug into scripture, the Lord reminded me of something humbling:

His peace has absolutely nothing to do with my strength and everything to do with the One who created me.

The Struggle to Admit Weakness

Some of you may resist the idea that you are weak.

Maybe you’ve built a successful career, overcome hardships, gained wisdom through experience—surely, you are sufficient in your own strength, right?

After all, we live in 2025, in a culture that glorifies self-empowerment.

Society tells us that true success comes from pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, from being strong, independent, and capable of handling everything thrown our way.

To admit weakness—privately or publicly—is almost shameful.

It goes against everything we’re conditioned to believe.

When the Pressure Broke Me

I am passionate about my work. I am passionate about growth. And I know that growth is uncomfortable.

With that understanding, I should, in theory, be able to keep calm and steady no matter what comes my way.

But let me tell you—just a couple of weeks ago, I had a moment that proved otherwise.

I sat down at my desk that morning ready—fired up, motivated, speaking life into my team.

I was reminding them that all the hard work we were doing was going to add up to something great. Yes, we were busy, but that was okay. Imperfection was okay.

Failure leads to learning, and learning leads to growth.

And almost as those words left my lips—BOOM.

A brand-new, urgent project landed in my lap.

Now, I’m no stranger to urgent work. When an organization is undergoing major transformation, that’s just part of the game.

But this wasn’t just another assignment.

This was project number twelve—on top of the eleven other urgent and important projects I was already managing.

I had a system. I had a plan.

And suddenly, none of it worked anymore.

Timelines were thrown off, everything had to be adjusted, and I had two projects due by the end of the day… with only four hours left.

The Breaking Point

That’s when it hit me.

The tightening in my chest. The shortness of breath.

The overwhelming feeling of I can’t do this.

I tried to form words—to tell my boss I needed help, to propose a solution, to brainstorm something—but instead, I just broke down.

I started bawling, feeling completely weak and overwhelmed.

I was scrambling to find some inner strength to ground me, to bring me back to my senses, but I couldn’t find a thing.

I was searching for those so-called bootstraps I was supposed to pull myself up by, but the truth is…

I Didn’t Need Bootstraps. I Needed Jesus.

Instead of trying to grip onto my own strength, I should have been clinging to the promises of the Lord.

Isaiah 41:9-14 (NIV)

"I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. “All who rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. Though you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, you worm Jacob, little Israel, do not fear, for I myself will help you,” declares the Lord, your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel."

The Battle Within

By nature—because I am constantly at war with my flesh—I am deeply neurotic.

I am prone to self-doubt, negative self-talk, perfectionism, and the fear of letting everyone around me down.

I catastrophize.

I worry until I can barely breathe.

I did this in the story I just told.

I do this when I realize I’ve made a mistake on the budget and that extra $100 I thought we had isn’t there.

I do this when I’m at my wit’s end with parenting, convinced that nothing I’m doing is working and that, no matter how hard I try, I’m just destined to mess up my kids somehow.

I do this all the time.

Even with medication for anxiety and depression.

Even with cognitive behavioral therapy.

Even after reading all the mental health advice from psychologists, forums, and industry experts.

What Does the World Say?

And what do they all tell us?

That those thoughts—self-doubt, fear, negative self-talk—aren’t real.

That we are perfectly capable of overcoming anything we set our minds to.

That only in the most extreme circumstances are we ever truly at risk.

But I encourage you—read that last scripture again.

What Did the Lord Actually Say?

Did He lift up Jacob’s ego, telling him he was strong enough to climb the mountain?

Did He reassure him that he just needed to trust himself and allow God to give him peace?

Absolutely not.

"Do not fear; I will help you. Do not be afraid, you worm, Jacob, little Israel, do not fear, for I myself will help you," (Isaiah 41:14).

“You worm, Jacob.”

When calming Jacob’s fears, God didn’t offer a single ounce of praise.

He called him a worm.

The Insignificance of the Worm

A worm is nothing.

You step on worms.

You put them on fishhooks and toss them into the water as bait.

Kids chop them into pieces just to watch them squirm.

God didn’t tell Jacob he was strong—because Jacob wasn’t.

It Is the Lord Who Gives Us Strength.

Now, the Lord humbled Jacob, but not to tear him down.

He did it because He knew exactly what Jacob was going through—or rather, what Jacob was putting himself through—by trying to find strength within himself.

God wanted to make it abundantly clear:

Jacob was looking for strength and victory in the wrong place.

It’s as if the Lord was saying:

“Dummy, stop trying to do this all by yourself. I’m here to help you! It’s hard because you’re not accepting My help.”

A Good, Good Father

Now, as Chris Tomlin’s song reminds us, God is a Good, Good Father, and I can’t help but chuckle as a parent when I read this passage.

It reminds me of watching my four-year-old try to put on his pants and underwear by himself—completely twisted, clearly uncomfortable, but still proudly declaring:

"I’ve got this!"

"Do you, son?"

Just like my little one, we can put our britches on by ourselves, but it’s going to be a mess.

Humbled, But Never Abandoned

And yet, even though worms are insignificant—just a tough metaphor to humble Jacob and remind him of his need for God—the Lord’s love for us is never in question.

He humbles us, but He never abandons us.

Just as we love our own stubborn, independent children, He loves us infinitely more.

Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Designed With Purpose

Just as you’d expect from such an amazing Father, even though we are incapable of navigating this world on our own, He still loves us and creates us with purpose.

Humbling ourselves isn’t about constantly seeing ourselves as insignificant worms—though that may be a useful reminder in our most prideful moments.

It’s about seeing ourselves truthfully—no better, no worse.

We all have strengths and weaknesses, and relying on the Lord doesn’t diminish our strengths—it empowers us to thrive in them.

Our Gifts Are Not for Us—They Are for Him.

What truly allows us to flourish as children of God is understanding that our strengths—our gifts—are given by Him and meant to be used for Him.

Paul reminds us of this truth in Romans:

Romans 12:3-8 (NIV)

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

"We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with your faith; if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully."

Confidence in Christ, Not Ourselves

The Word encourages confidence—not in ourselves alone, but in the Lord.

We aren’t called to puff ourselves up or get lost in the vanity of our own imagination.

Instead, we are called to find ourselves in Christ.

He created us with intention, equipping us with strengths to serve Him so that in everything we do, we know we are furthering His plan.

Fear Is Loud, But God Is Louder.

And yet, this isn’t always easy to grasp—especially when we are at war with our flesh.

Even Jesus, during His time on earth, struggled with His flesh.

In His final hours, He didn’t just bring His troubles to the Father once.

Not twice.

Three times.

He had to keep going back—again and again—because once wasn’t enough.

Twice wasn’t enough.

And even after the third time, I doubt He felt completely at peace with what He was about to endure.

But He Trusted the Father.

He knew what He had to do.

He was unwavering in the will of God.

So when you find yourself overwhelmed—burdened by stress, anxiety, or hardship—don’t see yourself as lesser.

Don’t compare your struggle to someone else’s.

Instead, bring it to the Lord.

Place it at His feet.

And if peace doesn’t come immediately?

Bring it to Him again.

And again.

And again.

It took Jesus three times to gather the strength to move forward with God’s plan—so who are we to put petty limitations on how many times we should return to Him?

Lay it down as many times as you need to, because you are in His hands.

Romans 8:31-39 (NIV)

"What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

I don’t know what you’re carrying today, but I know this—whatever it is, you don’t have to carry it alone. If God is for us, who can be against us?

As we walk through this life, we are not meant to bear our burdens in isolation. I believe in the power of community—a place where we can be real about our struggles and boldly proclaim the ways God has shown up in our weakness.

Sharing our testimonies is not just an act of vulnerability—it is a way to bring glory to the Lord and testify to His faithfulness. It strengthens one another, deepens our trust in His goodness, and can even bring those who don't yet believe into the light of His truth.

Let’s Share Our Stories

Please comment below, I’d love to hear from you. When has God shown up for you in your weakness? What burden do you need to lay at His feet today?

Let’s create a space where we are not afraid to share our hardships, knowing that our stories are a testament to God’s glory. Your testimony matters, and it can be the spark someone else needs to see God’s faithfulness in their own life.

Join Me on This Journey

I also invite you to join me on this journey and follow me for weekly posts digging deeper into the Word, studying it together, and growing closer to the Lord and our purpose.

Follow along as I continue to study, share, and learn from Scripture. Let’s walk this path together, strengthening each other in faith and growing in the knowledge of who God has called us to be.

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